Auhtority & Self Determinism
Over the past year I have been revisiting and re- examining selected poetic, literary, and even visual pieces that trace their production to various times throughout the past 30+ years.
I have come to the realization that my entire body of creative work is dealing with and explorating concepts of Authority and Self Determinism.
This stems from long standing child (and adult) abuse at the hand(s) of one parent forcing me to accept choices for my life in contravention to mine own vision~ which was clear and precise, even as a 5 or 6 year old.
Much of my work and/ or explorations were subconscious and are only visible, to me now, in proverbial hindsight.. thanks, in no small part, to having experienced a “watershed moment” just over a year ago that gave me access to memories I had long locked away.. decidedly painful memories to be sure but clearly, they evidence motivation for creative explorations.
This is no clearer to be seen than within my work on a theatrical composition titled “It’s 9:00 Childhood Fantasy Day” where in elements of “Theatre of the Absurd” are leveraged along with then- current and/ or cutting edge technology to produce an immersive, expressive, but hard hitting presentation. Sadly, my abuser chose to divest me of all the stored work that I did on this piece thus I am forced to start from scratch.. which I am doing slowly but with great enthusiasm.
Additionally, the concepts of Authority and Self Determinism are expressed in poetic compositions contained within the previously published volume “A Poet’s Four Weeks.” This work was composed through years of meanderment starting in the late 80’s/ very early 90’s. The poems are currently being recomposed in to “spoken word” works for wider audience appeal constructed to leverage my love of, both, folk styled lyrical music and punk/ industrial energies.
In the coming weeks/ months/ years, I will be taking my previously composed material and combining it with new musical accompaniments and other forms of output for cohesive presentation in hopes of helping others suffering from Power Differentials, Authority Overtasking, and Self Determination issues.
Ultimately- it is my hope that nobody ever experience what I went through.. if my story can help, so be it!
